Oct 9, 2020
“Excuse me, I’M speaking.”
The hostile act of Power Interruption and what to do about it.
Having a voice and being heard may seem the most boring of workplace topics. Especially for those of us who have no problem projecting, interjecting, even finishing other people’s sentences. There you go…I helped you get it out, right? You’re welcome! Well, no. NO.
We’ve seen recently, and publicly, a truth of social science — that modes of speaking; volume, speed of talking, word choice and incurring on other’s speech by over-talking, and cutting-off — are more than just benign, boorish behaviors.
“Power Interuptions” are defined by sociologists as hostile displays of competition, conflict, power and control. These tools and tactics can, knowingly or not, be weaponized to exert power and subdue or diminish the existence of other points of view and the people who hold them.
As a woman, at business dinners, I’ve met eyes across the table with other women, in a common, silent acknowledgement that our ears will be ringing for hours from the shouted conversation that we are shut out of. In meetings, Power Interrupting means that not every voice is heard. Which means not every idea is heard. Which means not every solution is heard. And also, it is quite rude.
On the flip side, The Power Interrupt is a conversational technique that can be used to disrupt an unequal conversation, say amongst a group of people where just a few are dominating the intellectual environment. Been there, right? With practice, Power Interruptions can be used to get into the conversation with your thoughts, such as in business happy hours or pre-dinner social time, when you have two choices; speak UP and claim space, or be resigned to listening and nodding.
Here are my thoughts for the Power Interrupter:
Do you realize you are doing this? Pay attention to yourself and recogonize that you can change this behavior at any moment. You can apologize and show self-awareness, let people know this is something you are working on, even invite your team to send a signal when your bad habit is taking down the conversation. Men should be especially aware, because volume alone can be a take-over. If two peole begin speaking at the same time, notice who defers to the other. If there’s gender or race differences in the exchange, you have even more to think about. An update of Greek Philosopher Epictetus, might be expressed this way: You have two ears and one mouth. Act accordingly.
For the Often Interrupted:
Not everyone has the brilliant swagger and poise of Senator Kamala Harris, who, when repeatedly interrupted by The Vice President in the recent debate, said first: ”Mr Vice President, I’m speaking.” And second, in an unignorable raising of the stakes, “Mr. Vice President I’m speaking.” That had me throwing my popcorn at the TV in delight: One Million Equity Points to Kamala!! …But, if that’s not you, you can still practice your strategies to put down these incursions. Consider prefacing your thought by saying: “Please stay with me to the end, I have something I want to add here.” or, silently raise your hand as an indication you’d like to get a word in and then wait until you have the floor.
Leaders, it’s our job to ensure the work environment creates space for all kinds of communicators. Interrupting isn’t always bad behavior. Sometimes people are just excited, or want to speak their thought before they forget it. Interrupting can happen in a legitimate, dynamic conversation and be very iterative, building excitement. It would be a mistake to tamp down any spontaneous expression or interjection. Things leaders can do: pause to ask for thoughts from people who haven’t spoken yet. Another tactic- one which I was on the humbling end of — keep your eyes on the person who was talking, and say “I’d like to hear the rest of what _____ had to say.” That inattention to The Interrupter, well, it speaks volumes.
Like so many things, it’s a balance not a binary. Being too prescriptive makes business meetings potentially very boring and lacking in creative energy. But unless you’re in the Writer’s Room at SNL, serial interrupting is not a great business practice and it has the potential to reduce the full contribution of all team members.
